


A Single Soul

by SpoonyLupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cheesy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Gen, Male Bonding, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 18:32:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8024542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpoonyLupin/pseuds/SpoonyLupin
Summary: When Sirius makes a hurtful comment in a moment of anger, it leads him and Remus to reminisce about the first serious argument they’d ever had - the one that first made them realize how just how much they needed each other.





	A Single Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including, but not limited to, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
> 
> Author's note: The title of this story is taken from the following quite by Aristotle: _"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.”_

“If _Snivellus_ so much as _looks_ at Harry the wrong way,” Sirius said loudly, “I’m going to make that big ugly bat wish he’d never been born.”

Remus exhaled heavily, shutting his eyes and trying desperately to hold on to the last dangling threads of his patience. Sirius had been pacing around the kitchen of number twelve, Grimmauld Place for the better part of an hour, ranting and raving about Harry having Occlumency lessons with Snape.

“And I better hear about it!” Sirius kept on going, walking past the table for the umpteenth time. “If fact, I’m going to make _sure_ I hear about it…” He started mumbling to himself in indistinct tones, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“Padfoot, _please_ ,” Remus implored, looking up from the table where he was sitting his newest book, a gift from Sirius himself. “Why don’t we just see how it goes for a while before you go getting yourself all bent out of shape?”

Sirius rounded on him, his teeth clenched. “Because I _know Snivellus_ is just going to use these lessons to give Harry a hard time. Of course he would! Why wouldn’t he?! I _know_ him! He revels in trying to exact his revenge on James by making Harry miserable!”

Remus turned a page in his book, clinging to the hope that his peaceful night of reading wouldn’t be completely lost. “Has it ever occurred to you that Severus is also trying to exact his revenge on _you_ by making Harry miserable?”

Sirius looked affronted. “So what are you saying? That it’s _my_ fault that Snape’s a jackass?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Remus said tiredly. He didn’t know why he was wasting his time. Trying to reason with Sirius about Snape was like trying to talk to a brick wall. Old habits died hard, he supposed, and by now, complaining about Snape was probably something that came completely naturally to Sirius, like breathing. “Just that you’re not helping matters any by flat out threatening him before he even did anything.”

“’ _Before he even did anything_ ‘?” Sirius repeated incredulously. “Oh, he’s done plenty, Moony. I told you what he said to me, always pushing my buttons over the fact that I’m _completely useless_!”

Remus felt his annoyance crumbling the tiniest bit. “Padfoot…you’re not useless, but he only said it, because you were giving him a hard time about Harry. Maybe if you showed him a little more courtesy-”

“Courtesy,” Sirius scoffed, “right. After everything’s he’s done, he deserves to be given a hard time. I think that’s one of his problems. No one ever seems to hold him accountable for anything! He was a Death Eater, but then he comes back and says he’s changed his mind, and Albus takes him back without so much as a _word_ -”

“I’m sure it’s a bit more complicated than that.”

Sirius didn’t seem to take any notice of Remus’s comment, because he kept on ranting. “Sometimes I wish, just once, he would be put in his place. I mean, _he_ was the Death Eater, and _no one_ cares! He’s able to walk the streets without so much as a second thought, but _I_ was the one who had to rot away for twelve years in that damn prison, and I still can‘t show my face in public! There’s no justice in this world.”

Remus sighed heavily. “I don’t disagree, okay? You’re right, it _isn’t_ fair that you spent so long in Azkaban and that you’re still a wanted man when you did nothing wrong. But, you know, we really have no clue what happened between Albus and Severus when he came back, nor is it any of our business. All that we need to know is that Albus trusts him, therefore we should.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “As I already told _Snivellus_ -”

“I really wish you’d stop calling him that.”

“I don’t care how much Albus trusts him,” Sirius continued as if Remus hadn’t even spoken. “I trust _Snivellus_ about as far as I can get my mother’s damn portrait from the wall. I think sometimes he needs to be reminded of that fact, and that not everyone automatically takes his word as holy just because Albus says so. I think he needs to learn that - the way he jaunts around here, acting all high and mighty, like he can do no wrong. Well, he has done plenty of wrong, and he doesn’t seem to realize that - that he’s royally messed up, too. Sometimes I think it’s a shame that you _didn’t_ bite him. Maybe then he’d admit that he’s not as flawless as he seems to think he is, and he‘d be a little bit nicer to the rest of us.”

A very long silence stretched out between them. It took Remus a moment to register what he had heard, and even then, a part of him still didn’t believe that Sirius would think such a thing. Remus looked up at his best friend, his eyes caught somewhere between anger and disbelief. “ _What_?”

“Just so he’d learn that not everything he does wrong can be so neatly swept under the rug!” Sirius exclaimed, putting his hands up in the air. He knew right away that he’d said something he shouldn’t, but he still didn’t realize just how much he’d chosen the wrong example.

“I see,” Remus bit out. He closed his book, resigned to the fact that he wasn’t going to be getting anymore reading done tonight. “So you’d rather that I spent the rest of my life beating myself up over the fact that I brought this condition on someone else, just so Severus could be taught a lesson, hm? Would that make you happy?”

Sirius’s mouth hung open for a while. He was only now beginning to grasp how wrong his words were, even if they were shouted in the throes of anger. “No!” he finally got out. “God, no, Moony, that’s not what I meant at all!”

“Who cares that I probably would have been taken into custody by the Ministry if I had bitten him? Just as long as Severus was taught a lesson, right?” Remus went on, the hurt evident in his eyes. “So which one would have preferred, Sirius? For me to have died a long painful death in a colony, or for me to have been humanely executed?”

“Moony, I didn’t mean any of that!” Sirius said desperately. “Of course I wouldn‘t have wanted any of those things to happen to you!”

“You know, I’ve always prided myself on finding a best friend that understands lycanthropy more than any non-werewolf could.” Remus raised his eyes from his book once again, giving Sirius a piercing look. “But it’s when you make comments like that that I think you don’t really have a clue at all.”

“Moony, you _know_ I understand it! I was just angry…!”

“Yes, I’m quite clear on the fact that Severus has that effect on you.” Remus got up from his chair, picking his book up in one hand, and stalking over to Sirius. He held the book up to Sirius’s chest, using it to emphasize his points as he said, “And in case you’ve forgotten, that was exactly why Severus had even gotten himself into the position to be bitten in the first place. Because _you_ were _angry_ , and _you_ thought it would be _funny. You_ , so don’t you dare blame Severus in the least for that. It was _your_ fault, and no one else‘s.” Without another word, Remus turned on his heel and disappeared up the steps.

“Moony!” Sirius called, taking several steps across the room, but then came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs. He groaned to himself and leaned heavily against the wall, pressing his forehead into the cold, hard stones. As much as he wanted to fix this right now, he knew Remus needed to be left alone for a little while. Remus rarely got angry, but when he did, he needed time to cool off. Sirius knew that well after thirty years.

Then again, if he knew Remus as well as he thought he did, he never would have made that thoughtless comment in the first place, whether he was angry at Snape or not. The whole Whomping Willow incident was still a sore spot for Remus. Oh, they’d discussed it to death and Remus had forgiven him a million times over, but Sirius sometimes forgot just how close he’d come to losing his best friend over it.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Just don’t, Sirius.”

Sirius knew Remus was beyond angry to call him by his real name. They almost always referred to each other by their nicknames now, except when they weren’t very happy with each other. This was one of those times.

Sirius, however, knew that this was much more serious than any of their previous fights. Usually, Remus got annoyed with him for being too loud, or for going overboard with a prank, or for being too overbearing. Those incidents would be quickly forgotten, and they’d fall back into their normal routine like nothing had ever happened.

This time, Sirius had royally screwed up. He’d nearly gotten Snape killed by sending him through the secret passage during a full moon. It had seemed funny to Sirius at the time. After all, Snape was always poking around, trying to find out what the Marauders were up to. Sirius thought it would be hilarious for Snape to come face to face with their biggest secret - a full grown werewolf.

As with most pranks he thought up, Sirius didn’t think about it beforehand or about the consequences that such an action would have. He didn’t think about the fact that Remus would have been in serious trouble if anything had happened to Snape. He just didn’t think.

And now Sirius was paying the price. Remus had been ignoring him for days. Every one of Sirius’s efforts to talk to him was quickly turned down, and every time, Remus reminded him of just how big a moron he’d been. But he had to keep trying, because Remus was his best friend, and he wasn’t about to let their friendship go without a fight.

“Moony,” Sirius said warmly, “please. I really am sorry.” He reached out for Remus’s shoulder, but his hand was quickly shrugged off.

“Yes, you’ve said,” Remus snapped. Their dormitory was a bit of a mess at the moment, so Remus bent to pick up some of his clothes that were littering the floor. He dropped them into his trunk, then straightened up to face Sirius once more. “The problem is, I don’t think you really understand exactly how much you could have ruined things for me.” He picked up a pair of socks next, dropping them into his trunk as well. “Everything I’m working for now…”

“How many times do you want me to say it?” Sirius pleaded. “You have no idea how sorry I am!”

“Nor do I think you understand exactly how much you could have ruined things for other werewolves.”

Sirius didn’t say anything. He couldn’t think of anything _to_ say.

“Werewolves aren’t supposed to come to school,” Remus said. “You know that. And ever since you figured out my secret, you’ve said that they _should_ be able to.”

“And they should!”

“Then think about would have happened if I had hurt or killed Severus!” Remus implored. “The Ministry would have had a field day! They’d use it as an example for exactly _why_ werewolves shouldn’t be at school, for why they’re too dangerous to even be among the rest of society! Every time a werewolf hurts or kills someone…it just adds more fuel to the fire. It makes it that much harder for the next werewolf to get any decent opportunities.”

Sirius pressed his eyes closed, sinking down onto the edge of his bed. He hung his head, threading his fingers together out of nervousness. “That was the _last_ thing I wanted - to cause problems for you, or for any other werewolves.” He looked at Remus firmly. “You’re my _best friend_. I’d die before I let anything bad happen to you. You _know_ that. You know I think all these laws against werewolves are rubbish. I wouldn’t have become an Animagus in the first place if I didn’t. I wouldn’t be spending full moons with you, trying to protect you! I just want to know how I can prove that to you again…how I can begin to make it up to you.”

Remus didn’t reply for a long time, but instead started gathering up his books for their next lesson. When he finally got them in his bag and slung it over his shoulder, he said quietly, “I’m not sure you can, Sirius.”

The next few weeks passed similarly. Nearly every day, Sirius and Remus would have a comparable exchange, but they would always end with Remus insinuating that their friendship was over. As a result, things were very awkward for the Marauders as a whole. Gone were the days when the four of them went everywhere together, because Remus had distanced himself so much from Sirius, and things between them were awkward at best. James and Peter often felt caught in the middle, and they’d try to divide their time equally between Remus and Sirius, but it was obvious that the situation was wearing on them. James started chasing after Lily even more as a distraction, and Peter started doing…whatever in the hell he did when he went off by himself.

So Sirius started thinking up ways to make it up to Remus and to fix things between. He began sneaking through the secret passage into Hogsmeade regularly. He’d spend all his money on Honeydukes’ Best Chocolate bars, leaving them piled up on Remus’s bed as a peace offering. At first, Remus seemed quite puzzled by the continuously appearing chocolate, but after a while, he seemed to realize where they were coming from.

Sirius had even gone as far as to sign up for a subscription to the _Daily Prophet_. He hated the ruddy newspaper with a passion, and he thought the Ministry was full of it, so he hoped that Remus would see what a sacrifice he was willing to make for him. Every day when the paper was delivered, Sirius would go through it, looking for all mentions of werewolf laws. He’d then go through with a quill and red ink, crossing out every instance where werewolves were spoken badly about. Sirius would scribble in his own thoughts about how werewolves were misunderstood, and how anyone who thought otherwise was a great big dunderhead. If werewolf laws weren’t mentioned in a particular paper, Sirius would go through with black ink instead, drawing ugly moustaches and devil horns on pictures of various Ministry officials. He’d even add in little notes of apology for Remus, and then he’d then leave the papers on Remus’s bed as well for him to read through.

Remus still didn’t accept Sirius’s apologies, but as time went on, Remus would start smiling every time he discovered a new pile of chocolate bars or a revised copy of the _Daily Prophet_ , and his eyes would dart briefly across the room to Sirius. That was when Sirius knew he was beginning to break through the wall that Remus had put up.

~~~~~~~~~~

It had been well over a month since the incident with Snape, and Remus didn’t want to admit it, but he was truly beginning to miss his best friend. He had even refused the rest of the Marauders’ company during the latest full moon, trying desperately to hold on to his resolve that he didn’t need their help any more. Not if their help came with the price of jokes that could get him executed or thrown into a werewolf colony.

The wolf was hungry. The Marauders had denied him of blood for such a long time, and he wasn’t about to let Remus soon forget that. Moreover, as much as Remus tried to deny it, he was in so much turmoil over his destroyed relationship with Sirius, and that made the wolf even angrier than usual. Whatever Remus didn’t let himself feel, the wolf felt times ten and took it out on him. As a result, Remus had come out of his last transformation in worse shape than he could remember being in a while. At least since the rest of the Marauders had figured out the Animagus transformation.

Remus was stubborn beyond belief. Once he made a decision, he was prepared to stick to it come hell or high water. But this latest transformation had left his determination as tattered and destroyed as his own body. Not only that, but Remus genuinely missed their company. As much as James and Sirius both drove him up the bloody wall sometimes, they did have fun together, and Remus longed for those days. Days that they spent laughing and joking together.

Remus was still angry at Sirius. Actually, no, that was a lie. He supposed he was more disappointed in him now than anything else. Disappointed that his best friend would make such a stupid mistake, but something occurred to Remus. Sirius _never_ apologized. Even when he had clearly done something wrong, and even when a teacher told him to. Sirius was much too proud to admit that he had made a mistake. Ever. He’d normally brush it off and try to make a joke out of it. But here he was, apologizing to Remus constantly. Not just once, but every single day since the incident.

Most days, Remus spent battling with himself. Going back and forth on whether or not he should try and fix things with Sirius. He wanted to so badly. In fact, he almost had several times, but then he’d remember exactly what Sirius had done, and his hurt would flare up all over again. He had never been more confused in his life. Or lost.

When he had started Hogwarts, Remus was certain that he didn’t need friends. Certain that he wouldn’t even be able to make friends, not with his condition. They would either shun him for being weak and sickly-looking, or they would shun him even more if they ever found out. But then he met the rest of the Marauders, and his life had changed forever. Even after they figured that he was a werewolf, they didn’t care. If fact, they went out of their way to prove that they were still his friends. Remus didn’t think he’d ever have that. They were the best thing that had ever happened to him, and now he was willingly shutting them out of his life.

He wanted them back. He _needed_ them back. Especially Sirius. Especially his Padfoot. Now if he could only find the courage to admit it.

One afternoon, Remus spent walking around the lake alone. When he reached the beech tree at the edge of the water, he sat down under it. It was the very same tree where he and the rest of the Marauders usually spent their free afternoons, but now he was there alone. It felt so strange, so empty, like they should all be there with him. But they weren’t. Remus just desperately wished that things would go back to normal, but he was still much too stubborn to admit it. He was in Gryffindor, one of his main traits was supposed to be bravery, but sometimes he wasn’t so sure! He felt like a right coward then, unable to admit that he needed help. That he needed his friends.

“All alone again, are we?” asked a mocking voice to his left.

Remus didn’t have to look to see who it was, because he knew the voice well. It belonged to Avery, a rather mean-spirited Slytherin who often hung around with Snape. Avery often left the Marauders alone, at least when they were together (there was safety in numbers), but whenever he spotted one of them on their own (usually Remus or Peter), he’d often start teasing them. Ever since the incident with Snape, it had gotten even worse. Dumbledore had forbidden Snape to say anything about it to anyone, but the rest of the Slytherins knew that _something_ had gone on. The few “friends” that Snape had seemed to be going out of their way to bother the Marauders, and ever since Remus had separated himself from them, Avery seemed to target him almost daily.

“What’s the matter?” Avery asked. “The rest of your gang don’t like you anymore? Maybe they finally figured out that you’re too poor for them! I mean, look at your robes! They’re full of holes, for Merlin’s sake! Can’t your parents afford anything better than _that_?!” He laughed loudly.

It was true. Remus’s robes weren’t as nice as Sirius’s or James’s. Remus’s mother had passed away some years ago, and his father struggled between working and earning enough money, and trying to fulfill both parental roles for Remus. As a result, his father simply didn’t have the money that the Blacks or the Potters had. Or even the Pettigrews. But Remus knew one thing for sure. His father loved him fiercely, and he went out of his way to give Remus everything in his power. It didn’t matter if Remus’s robes were nice or not. What mattered was that he was loved and well taken care of.

Remus knew by now that the best thing to do was to ignore such insults. He clenched his teeth and stared out over the lake, trying to pretend that Avery wasn’t even there.

“Or maybe your friends decided that you’re too sickly to keep up with them anymore?” Avery continued scathingly. “You’re always in the hospital wing. What do you have, some _disease_? Is that why your friends don’t like you anymore?”

“We like him just fine.”

Remus knew that voice, too, but he almost didn’t believe it at first. He had to turn and look to prove to himself that Sirius would still stand up for him.

“Ooh,” Avery teased. “What a surprise, Black’s here to save you, ‘cause you can‘t even defend yourself.”

“Just sod off,” Sirius said tiredly. “It’s none of your damn business whether we’re still friends or not, but for your information, we are.”

Remus felt a warm fuzzy feeling erupt in his chest.

“That’s good to know,” Avery said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll be sure to spread the word. After all, inquiring minds what to know.”

“Well, know this,” Sirius muttered, pulling out his wand and aiming it Avery‘s chest. “I’ll hex you straight to the moon if I ever hear you so much as say a single word to Remus ever again. Get the picture?”

Avery seemed to falter for a moment. His eyes went down towards his pocket, and he looked like he was going for his wand as well. Sirius, however, fired off a spell that passed narrowly over Avery’s head, making the Slytherin jump.

“Don’t even think about it,” Sirius muttered. “I’ll turn you into a toad before your hand gets anywhere near it. And I get perfect marks in Transfiguration in case you were wondering.”

“It’s true. He does,” Remus added quietly.

Sirius smirked for a moment before scowling at the Slytherin once again. “So what’ll it be? You can leave Remus in peace, or you can spend the rest of the afternoon trying to get your little toads legs to get you all the way back to the castle, and hope you can get someone’s attention so they can fix you.”

Avery clenched his teeth, glaring back and forth between Remus and Sirius. “Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’ll leave the diseased little boy alone.” Avery slowly started heading for the castle, but Sirius fired another spell over his head. Avery jumped again and he picked up his pace, breaking into a run.

Remus wasn’t necessarily one for bullying, but in this case, he didn’t mind it. He snickered quietly. Sirius smiled at him, but then that awkward silence that seemed to follow them everywhere fell into place once again.

“Thanks,” Remus whispered in an effort to break it.

“Don’t mention it,” Sirius said. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he thought better of it. He then turned and started heading back to the castle as well.

Remus couldn’t have that. He couldn’t stand to see his best friend walk away from him yet again. “Padfoot, wait. Please.” Remus got to his feet, clinging to the trunk of the tree like it might give him some courage.

Sirius stopped, turning back to him. He titled his head in curiosity.

Now this was the hard part. The part where Remus had to admit his feelings. It took him a long time. He kept opening his mouth only to shut it again, but Sirius waited. He wasn’t a patient boy at all, but he stood quietly and waited until Remus worked up the courage he needed to get his best friend back.

“I miss you,” Remus finally got out.

At first, Sirius looked surprised, almost like he didn’t believe what he was hearing. But then his expression morphed into a smile. “I miss you too, Moony.”

“And I need you. I do,” Remus rushed on before he could lose his nerve. “I need you, and James, and Peter. I need the four of us to be friends again - to be like we used to be. I need you to keep me safe on full moons, because I can’t do it myself.” He stopped, a little shocked that he was letting so many of his feelings out. He supposed he had kept them inside for so long that they were just bursting out now. “I just need you.”

“Moony…” Sirius said warming, shaking his head. “You’ve got me. All you needed to do was say the word. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been _dying_ for you to admit that.”

“So you don’t hate me?” Remus asked sheepishly. “For ignoring you for so long?”

“God, I could never hate you,” Sirius gasped. “And I don’t blame you one bit for ignoring me. But…you don’t hate me? For being such a rubbish friend?”

Remus shook his head. “You’re not. You’ve spent the last five years proving that you’re a wonderful friend. You even became an Animagus - one of the hardest pieces of magic known to wizard kind - just for me! So I wouldn’t be alone during full moons anymore. You have no idea how good a friend you’ve been to me. So you did something stupid. _Everyone_ does at some point or another.”

“Yeah, well, most of them don’t screw up as badly as I did.” Sirius took a few steps closer to Remus. “I am _so_ sorry,” he said for about the billionth time. “I’d take it all back if I could, but I can’t, so I’ll just have to settle for apologizing until I drive you crazy and doing everything else in my power to make it up to you.”

“I know you’re sorry. At first, I didn’t really believe it, but…you would never say it that many times if you didn’t mean it.”

“Nor would I buy you that much chocolate, or go through _that_ many _Daily Prophets_.” Sirius paused, frowning down at his hands. “In fact, I think my hands are turning permanently black from the ink.”

“Those all meant a lot to me, you know.”

“That was sort of the point. And I meant them all. _Every_ single thing I wrote in _every_ single newspaper.”

Remus could feel his cheeks burning red, and he ducked his head in embarrassment. “Even the part about how you’ve felt like part of your soul has been missing this last month?”

“ _Especially_ that.”

“That’s not really a Sirius thing to say. In fact, it’s downright cheesy. I had no idea you were so in touch with your feelings.”

“When it comes to us, there is _no cheese_ ,” Sirius said firmly. “When it comes to you, I’ll be as in touch with my feelings as I can get. When it comes to fixing things between us, I’ll say the mushiest things I can think of if you want me to.”

“As long as you mean them.”

“Always.”

Remus started rubbing the toe of his shoe in the grass for something to do. “I guess I’ve felt that way, too. You know, I read a quote once about how friends were a single soul living in two bodies. I think you’ve got half of my soul, because I feel like I’m going crazy without you.”

“Me, too. So does that mean you forgive me?”

Remus bit his lip tentatively, but then he nodded. “Yeah. But if you _ever_ do anything like this _ever_ again, _I’ll_ hex _you_ to the moon. Get the picture?”

Sirius grinned. “Yeah. And don’t worry. If I ever hurt you like this again, I’ll do that myself.” Sirius replaced his wand in his robes, which he still had out from his confrontation with Avery. “So, should we go tell James and Peter?”

Remus nodded, and then Sirius slung an arm around him, leading him back up to the castle.

~~~~~~~~~~

After seeing Harry back to school at the end of the Christmas holiday, Remus returned to number twelve, Grimmauld Place. He was usually happy to return home, but not so much this time. He and Sirius hadn’t spoken since the day before, and the tension between them had gotten quite thick. It had almost grown to be unbearable at times. With Harry and the others back at Hogwarts, things were even more uncomfortable.

Remus trudged up the stairs, wondering if he should find Sirius and try to talk to him. He knew that Sirius didn’t mean any of what he’d said. Sirius was his best friend, after all, and Remus knew he would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. Sirius had spent most of their friendship trying to make things better for Remus; he just did and said stupid things sometimes without thinking. That was something everyone in the world had done at some point, he was sure. But his words hurt Remus nonetheless.

When Remus reached his bedroom, he pulled off his traveling cloak and stepped inside. The strangest feeling came over him when he saw it. It almost felt like he had instantly been transported back twenty-five years and was standing in his Hogwarts dormitory. In the middle of his bed sat a small mound of Honeydukes’ Best Chocolate bars as well as that morning’s copy of the _Daily Prophet_. All over the newspaper, Remus recognized his best friend’s handwriting, crossing out certain things and writing his own comments in the margins. He could even see a silly looking moustache, devil horns, and a speech bubble containing the word “ribbit” drawn on a picture of Umbridge herself.

“Remember the first time I left chocolate and a revised copy of the _Daily Prophet_ on your bed, Moony?” Sirius asked from behind him.

Remus nodded, unable to respond right away. All of a sudden, his throat felt very tight.

“That was by far and away the _stupidest_ thing I’ve ever done in my life,” Sirius continued, but then he paused and thought for a moment. “Or one of the stupidest, because I’ve done a lot of stupid things. Anyway, I was too young to understand the problems I might have caused for you, and I’m still sorry. After all these years.”

Remus looked back over his shoulder at Sirius. “I forgave you for that a long time ago.”

“I know,” Sirius sighed, “but I’m sorry I still do stupid stuff. That I say things without thinking.”

“As I told you then, that’s something that everyone on this planet has done. If they say they haven’t, they’re either lying or in denial.”

“So can you find it in your heart to forgive me yet again?” Sirius asked. Without waiting for a reply, he went on. “I love you, Moony. Like a brother, and you’re the best friend I’ve ever had in my life. We’ve lost so much, but you’re one thing I can always count on. I never want to lose that, and I hate to know that I’ve done or said something to hurt you. I just get so caught up in my hatred of Snape-” Sirius realized that he was precariously close to going off on a tangent about the slimy git yet again, so he forced himself to stop. He took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts. “That’s not an excuse. But know that I am sorry I said those things. You _know_ I don’t wish that on anyone, much less for you to have to live with the consequences that I might have brought on you.” An odd silence fell, and Sirius wasn’t quite sure whether it was uncomfortable or not. “So…do you want to hex me to the moon now?”

Remus let out a little breath of laughter. “Never. I’d miss you too much. You’re the other half of my soul, remember?”

“Still?”

“Always.”

“I’ll try and be a better half of that soul then.”

“Don’t be silly,” Remus said softly, finally turning to face Sirius. “You wouldn’t be my best friend if you _weren’t_ careless and reckless. I still love you anyway.”

“And just so you know, you wouldn’t be _my_ best friend if you weren’t a werewolf. I love you, lycanthropy and all.”

“So what are you saying? If I wasn’t, you would have found some other werewolf to befriend?”

Sirius shrugged. “Maybe. Werewolves are damn amazing, you know.”

“So I’ve been told,” Remus said around a snort. A silence fell, a little bit more comfortable than the previous one. “I didn’t mean what I said, either. About you not understanding what it’s like to be a werewolf. Because you do. More so than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. Even more than some actual werewolves I‘ve known.”

“I hope so, Moony,” Sirius breathed. “I try so hard…that’s all I want, is to make you feel like you’re less alone in this world.”

“You do that,” Remus said confidently. “As long as you’ve been my friend, I’ve never felt alone. Never. Even when you were in Azkaban all those years, I always felt like you were here somehow.”

Sirius nodded. “I was, because not a day went by that I didn’t think of you. That you weren’t a part of my soul.”

“That’s so cheesy, Padfoot,” Remus said in choked voice.

“Remember what I told you all those years ago?” Sirius asked. “I told you that there isn’t any cheese between us.”

“Of course I remember.” Suddenly, the lump that Remus had swallowed a few minutes ago was back, and it seemed bigger than ever. He didn’t think he could find it in him to speak again. All he could think of to do was to wrap his arms around his best friend, hoping that that would say everything that he couldn’t.

And it did. Once again, they were a single soul.

_The end_


End file.
